AAA on Televisa #971 (01/01/2011) 
Recapped: 01/09/11

Recap of last week: Super Fly beating (and beating up) Octagon, Electroshock running in the TLC match but Maniacos still winning, Zorro winning the championship (completely thanks to Konnan.)

Dorian is sure Cibernético is his friend. Konnan isn't so sure and is trying to warn Dorian, but Dorian isn't listening to wise Konnan.

Video package: The last couple months in Cibernético's soap opera. I swear there's plenty of footage we never actually saw, including Cibernético sneakily watching a meeting between Dorian and the masked man, and Cibernético sneaking up on Parka in a dark room. And also, here's the Konnan/Dorian discussion we just saw.

Match 1: Espíritu, Extreme Tiger, Jack Evans, La Parka Jr. vs Cibernético, Escoria, Nygma, Taboo
Auditorio Benito Juarez, Zapopan, Jalisco, 12/05/2010

Winner: Bizarros
Match Time: 13:05 (5:40+4:19+3:06)
Rating: eh
Notes: La Parka has dancers, but he doesn't have his music on cue. Oh well. Nice gold outfit. Camera is not showing the dancers at all, glad they came. Bizarros are using “Miserlou”, just to make this feel more like a ECW gimmick thought up at 3AM. Nygma is in the surprise spot, but they had an actual surprise and didn't want to use it yet. I wonder who was the underwhelming surprise otherwise. Pimpi? Cibernético still has to get his separate entrance. One fan jumps the rail to salaam Cibernético. Security (one person) grabs him, so three more people jump the rail. Cibernético is wearing a purple Santa coat and hat. And white beard? Sure. Break.

Funny to see Cibernético's appearance in Pantera hyped during this.

Octagon wishes us all a merry Christmas.

Scoria's intro picture is from when he was doing the loaded fingers bit. I miss that bit. Piero is referee. Other Bizarros obstruct Parak's path from getting at Cibernético. Parka will not relent, so this match starts out with some exciting standing around. Weirdly, Arturo appears to be the only announcer during this, and if there's one guy who shouldn't be the only announcer during a match, it's 2010 Arturo Rivera.

Parka eventually decides Escoria isn't worth his time, and tags out to Tiger. Tiger leaps in to the ring, and Escoria decks him with a wheel kick. Clip already? You have two hours for three matches, you should not be clipping. Tiger and Escoria have trouble doing corner spots they want to because the camera guy is standing on the corner again. Tiger gets in a 619 instead, but Scoria immediately kills him with a German suplex. Tiger is back in control ten seconds later, tripping him into the ropes and dropping him with a guillotine double stomp. Nygma and Espiritu, old Vatos Locos, have a chop fight. Espiritu speeds things up with a springboard and a headscissors, but Nygma knocks him over with a kick we can't see because now they’re stuck on the bad camera. Nygma throws himself out on a corner charge, and Espiritu follows with a plancha. Taboo chops around Jack. Taboo looks a lot shorter this week. I don’t know that works. Jack knocks him away with a front flip dropkick, and follows whim out with the handspring tope con giro bit. That leaves Cibernético & Parka. I have to say, I thought they'd take more four minutes to get to it. Crowd is excited. Escoria is quickly wedging a chair in a corner for some reason. The two in ring approach as if they're going to have a fist fight. That lasts for one Cibernético punches, then he kind of swings with open hands. Knee lifts. Piero warns him about using the ropes. And Cibernético actually listens! Corner whip, Cibernético charge in, eats boot, Parka charges out, clothesline doesn't get him over, Parka off the ropes, clothesline (completely goes over Cibernético’s head, Cibernético takes a bump later – what the), Parka stops, look at Cibernético, Cibernético kinda begs off but may kind of be apologizing for that badness of that last spot. Parka drops him with a low blow headbutt. Escoria continues to work on the chair as Nygma comes into get punch and slammed. Cibernético gets in a cheap shot, then whips Para into the chair, but Parka turns around and Cibernético goes in head first. Cibernético grabs his shoulder, huh? Maybe it was just the poor camera angle. Backbreaker for Escoria. Backbreaker for Taboo, clothesline for Nygma. THIS is the great new Bizarros group I've been hearing all about! Cibernético being attended to by a doctor as they go to break.

Cibernético is slowly helped to the back, and La Parka stalks behind him ever slower with a chair. Amadeus pops out of the crowd to confront Parka. Escoria knock Parka down from behind, and the Bizarros stomp Parka into the apron. The other técnicos run over, and a brawl breaks out. It's still four on four with Amadeus, and the rudos take advantage. Bizarros are total unmistakable rudos here, after being técnicos last match. Taboo and Nygma stomp down Espiritu in the ring while there others are held outside. Escoria checks out Parka. Tiger and Jack brought and forearm-ed a bit. Nygma gives Jack a big sit down powerbomb. Amadeus is freely coming in and stomping now. Piero may be warning him, but isn't going to press the issue or anything. He's complaining to Amadeus as much as the others. Clip, and all four Bizarros are stomping Parka. Let me just write something when they stop stomping people. Tiger jumps on Nygma’s shoulders, forcing him to do something other than stop. As soon as Nygma drops him, they go right back in stomping. I'm pretty sure Arturo thinks Amadeus name is “Mozart”. Why not. Bizarros actually try to go for running clothesline and are tripped up to set the comeback. Except, all the Bizarros go down immediately, and the técnicos are standing around waiting for them to get back up to get in their own offense. Great running kick by Parka on the outside, at least, that actually looked like a real brawl for a second. Double backdrop is about as interesting as the comeback is getting. Just as Cibernético returns, break.

Los Minis, who don't get their individual names on the graphic, much less their own vignette, wish us Merry Christmas. It's Octagoncito, Mascarita Divina and Mini Charly Manson,

Cibernético is still holding his arm, but valiantly returning to the fight. Which is great because it probably means it's over soon. Técnicos don’t seem him coming. Double choke bomb for Tiger. Big slam for Jack, powerbomb for Espiritu. Parka in, and Cibernético gives him the finger point. Cibernético’s punch is blocked, Parka's is not. Parka proceeds to throw some awful right hand punches. Maybe they shouldn’t be showing all the space there, but they do. Kick sends Cibernético out. Tope? Well, no, because Cibernético’s ducks down. Cibernético start to bail when Parka goes to pescado, then reaches back to trip Parka. Cibernético forgot what he was doing there. Another punch fight, but shot a little better. Back inside, Taboo does something to Tiger we only see the tail end of, but Espiritu breaks it up. Slam by Espiritu, quebrada lands, it's Nygma's turn to break it up. Cibernético is beating Parka with a chair on the outside. Nygma ends up with a barely in control superbomb, but Jack breaks up the pin. What's your move, Jack? Jack's move is a fisherman’s buster and a twisting moonsault splash. Escoria breaks it up. What's your move, Escoria? They always have to get in a chop and whips before getting the moves. Escoria move is getting pulled into a Jack Evans backslide! A poor move. Amadeus breaks it up by grabbing the ropes, then kicking Jack. Hold for a dropkick fails, out goes Mozart. Big kick to Escoria head. Tiger runs into just to get backdropped to the apron, setting up a twisting Asai to the floor. It is a pretty dive, but it's becoming tough to follow. Espiritu Michinoku Driver on Escoria, Jack top rope 450 splash one two three. Cibernético tried to make the save, but parka cut him off. That was actually not horrible by the end.

Cibernético is hurt again. Parka stalks him while his partners celebrate in the ring. Oh, Cibernético's not hurt and throwing chair at Parka. Parka's partners figure out, perhaps, they should be helping. Bizarros win this fight, making the last one a bit irrelevant. Except the beatdown has Jack's music. Now it doesn't, because Cibernético has to talk. Crowd is absurdly loud, especially for a crowd that doesn't seem to be visually reacting all that much. Cibernético appears to be ranting, but he doesn't let Konnan's music stop him. I'd tell you who we've got, but AAA's decided to shoot right into the seizure lights. Okay, Konnan, Dorian, Alan Stone, Billy Boy, Decnnis. Dorian and Konnan try to welcome Cibernético to the group, but Cibernético’s too busy yelling at Parka at the moment. Cibernético is so pretentious when he calls people by their real name. Dorian again welcomes Cibernético to the group, even though Cibernético is outside the ring. Cibernético again says they're not with the técnicos or La Sociedad. La Milica immediately start killing Los Bizarros in the ring. They didn't even really wait to ask Konnan, that was speedy for them. Though now I see why Cibernético left the ring. Now, while no one's paying attention to him, Cibernético introduces the newest Bizarro – hey, Charly Manson's just got out of another hair match loss. Spinebuster for Billy, clothesline for Chris, Decnnis tossed out, Alan takes a front cracker. At least they aired this a different week than when Dr. Wagner did the same exact thing. Dorian calmly walks to the back. Group pose.

Zorro – while pounding his head on a door – says they say he's loco, but they can't say anyone's better than him. He's got the title.

La Parka, holiday wishes, you get the idea.

Heavy Metal, guitar in hand, holiday wishes and says he'll back soon.

Damian tells Halloween and X-Fly that they'll make history tonight. It's promotion vs promotion. Halloween says they don't have Super Crazy, but they have Mosco. X-Fly is very excited to team with Halloween and Damian AND bring up his national heavyweight championship.

Match 2: Monster Clown, Murder Clown, Psycho Clown vs Damián 666, Halloween, X-Fly in a cage match
Auditorio Benito Juarez, Zapopan, Jalisco, 12/05/2010

Winner: Perros del Mal
Match Time: 12:05
Rating: about what you’d expect
Notes: X-Fly has his heavyweight title and his IWL title. Having seen the rest of this show, about a half zone people try to jump at once, but security actually blocks them off. X-Fly is so proud of his title belts. Hey, does Charly get a rematch now? Despite it being, you know, a cage match, the Perros rush the aisle to fight the Clowns. Of course, people jump the rail to, and nearly get caught up in the brawl.

Silver King & Ultimo Gladiador and Ultimo Gladiador's red Old Navy sweatshirt wish us Merry Christmas.

Perros hit Psycho and Murder with a chair shot to the head as they come in, then lock Monster out. Tons of weapons in the ring, and not any of this going to matter, so why not just wait until the end. Monster is going to do the dive off the top of the cage? Monster does a plancha off the cage, huh. Camera guy who stands in the corner is now standing now sitting on top of the cage. That seems like a horrible idea. Masks are quickly ripped up. Psycho Clown looks a lot like Máximo, what a surprising development. Why is Damian's hand covered in blood already? Perros all try to leave, Clowns all pull them back. X-Fly refuses to go down unless he takes a top rope superplex. Stacked up superplex spot, check. Monster clocks Psycho with a chair when aiming for Damian, and that leads to Daman’s escape.

X-Fly cuts off Monster from following, and smashes him into the cage. Halloween sets up Monster for another X-Fly senton con giro, but X-Fly decides to just leave. Halloween is surprised, then killed by the Psychos.

After a clip, Halloween is press slammed thru the table's that's been set up in the corner since the start of the match. Psycho Circus are all staggering around hurt, but then decide to all leave. X-Fly and Damian fight Monster and Psycho as they escape. Monster's unblocked and leaves. Breaks.

Extreme Tiger holiday wishes.

Murder holds Halloween down with a trash can in front of him, and Psycho goes up for a low blow dropkick. Psycho gets to the top rope, sees Damian and X-Fly beating up Monster on the outside and decides to go after that instead. Off the ring post plancha wipes out everyone, Monster losing his belt in the middle of it.

That leaves Murder and Halloween. Halloween spears the bigger man, and pours out some thumbtacks. He takes a chokeslam on them, off course. Murder's is completely torn in front, and he's not concerned to break it up. Halloween rolls around, sells and still manages to point Murder Clown some directions. Murder Clown is busy setting up a table. Halloween laid on top, or at least part of the way on top. Hey, Murder, if you’re already on the top rope, why not climb out? Well, he can’t, because a guy in a Monster Clown mask has jumped the rail and is pounding at Murder Clown with a climb. Murder Clown falls off the side of the cage, and thru the table. He's clearly done, but the masked man tosses the club down to Halloween. Halloween smacks Murder clown as he gets up, and uses some attached tape to bind Murder to the ropes. Cameras completely miss the shot of Perro Aguayo Jr. unmasking himself – even when they get it, it's form behind, where you can’t see his face. Perro helps Halloween to the top of the cage, and that’s it.

Perros celebrate on the outside. Psycho and Monster brawl with them, with a big thing of confetti being thrown in. You know, Perro's knee look completely fine here. Must be some great surgery. Dr. Wagner is walking out to his music, but no one's paying attention. Face off with him and Perros. Clip to everyone back in the cage. Wagner makes the big speech about going after the Perros together. Perros are unconcerned. Wagner blah blah blahs. Perro Jr. comes back in gets beat up a bit, which is an odd thing to include.

Match 3: El Mesías vs LA Park
Auditorio Benito Juarez, Zapopan, Jalisco, 12/05/2010

Winner: LA Park
Match Time: 24:44 (1:33+5:03+8:47+9:21)
Rating: very good
Notes: LA Park is wearing the Hijo de Cien Caras mask. Hernandez is his second. Park badly wants Hernandez to dance with him but that's not happening. Mesías has red druids. That means – probably nothing. Mesías fans are much more of the girl variety, and they have strong grips. Mesías cracks up about not being able to get free. Nice to see Mesías have human emotions. Fireworks. Piero is ref. Parka puts the Hijo de Cien Caras mask on the ringpost and points to the sky. Piero is ref.

Park assaults Mesías right of the bat. Punches and stomps and such. Park brings Mesías out, crotches him on the barricade, shoves a woman away (lightly) to get a chair, and smacks Mesías with it. Park argues with Piero until a break.

Why is Jack Evans wearing an Enyce jump suit? He tries his promo in espanol , because why not.

Hernandez is assaulted Mesías while Park distract Piero. Pseudo tag, and Park tosses a chair at Mesías. Mesías thrown into the same section Parks' been bugging, and Park goes in after to grind his boot in Mesías' throat. Choking on the outside. Someone in the crowd gets the bright idea to pour their beer on Park's head! Do they not have the internet in Zapopan? Park stands up, looking to kill. All he sees is women in front of him (and it appears like it came from someone standing behind them), and even LA Park is not going to hit a random woman in the crowd. He does have Mesías to hit, so he stands up the Puerto Rician and absolutely throttles him with slaps and punches. The women were amused before, they're screaming in fright as Park brawls by father into the crowd. Crowd pars, the comes back around Park as he beats Mesías. They're mostly behind Park. Parka decides to bring it back over the barricade, and throws another chair at Mesías. Mesías may be bleeding. Mesías crawls back to the apron, and Park smacks him on the elbow with a chair shot. Hard double chair shot tot eh back – I don't know why Park is swinging too chairs.

Clip. Mesías was bleeding before, but it's more evident down. A chair is unfolded in the corner of the ring. Park drops Mesías with an enziguri, then suplexes him onto the chair. Park stands on the chair and poses a bit. Park gets back to business, kicking Mesías in the face. Crowd actually booing Park a bit. Park rolls out, and goes into the crowd again? Clip. Inside, Hernandez puts Mesías in a bearhug. Park returns with – something like a plastic laundry cart, though it's not quite that. Park checks it in. Hernandez leaves, and Park powerbombs Mesías on the side of the cart.

Clip? Park suddenly has a chair in his hand, which is a pretty neat magic trick. Cart is gone, too. Swing, and a miss. Mesías grabs the chair away and fires up. Park beg off, and they both mike it for a bit. Park charges, and gets nailed with a chair shot to the chest. Mesías goes after the mask, because it's clearly about more than three count now. Oh, wait, the cart is still in the corner. Mesías smacks Park in the head with a shot, then stops Piero from getting rid of the corner. The reflexive property of lucha libre matches mean everything big one guy takes in a brawl, the other guys is going to take later, so here's Mesías powerbombing Park onto the same cart.

Mesías walks around, looking for something to do. He does his hop in place for a bit. Chair shot to park's head. Back to the mask. Mesías' hands are covered in blood, which he shows tot he climbing cameraman. Punches to the head. Parks' mask is pretty well ripped off the top, almost just covering his mouth. Clothesline by Mesías. Mesías bits the cut, and Park punches him away. Clip?

Corner whip, no, normal whip, reverses, Parks slides under, and spins Mesías with a clothesline. Park fixing his mask so it's sort of covering him, and covering Mesías. One two no. Crowd behind Mesías, always a victory. Corner whip, Mesías barely kips up and over Parka, waistlock, Park elbows him away, off the ropes, Mesías head down too soon, Park kicks him. Park off the ropes, powerslam, one two no. Mesías up, nodding to the crowd, and – running into an armdrag, running into an armdrag, evading the third. Mesías kicks Park in the head, casita, one two no. On the good side for Mesías, he's stopped bleeding. Park is more than making up for it. Park is basically wrestling with no mask again. Whip, Park slides out, Mesías goes out, Park comes in, Mesías comes in, Park shoulderblock, exchange of zero count pinfalls? This is an odd spot for that bit. Mesías drops Park to one knee with a kick catch enizguiri, then slides him out to the floor. Quite the slide by Park there. Hernandez checks on his man, but smartly moves out of the way when Mesías crushes him with a tope. Both are slow up, though only Park has Hernandez telling him to get up. Mesías crawls in first. Is Piero actually going to count Park out here? We'll, he's going to try. Who, Mesías’s right shoulder is covered in blood. Crowd reacts to something we don’t see, and it's an odd camera cut back to the ring as Park runs back to make the count. Leap into a cavernaria doesn’t come off just right, but park gets the hold on. Okay, Park isn't wearing a mask of cloth anymore, but he's definitely wearing a mask of blood. One arm drop, two arm drop, three – nah, LA Park is no Dragon Rojo. Mesías breaks free. Park up first and looking a little bit better.

Clip gain. Park swats Mesías in the corner. Corner whip, Park charges in, Mesías get a boot up. Park backs up, charges again, Mesías gets a boot up. Mesías up to the middle rope, headscissors actually works for him this time. Off the ropes, spinning headscissors. Both guys seem lost for a second, Park charges Mesías, Mesías flips him, and Park goes all the way to the floor. Park not afraid to take the crazy bump this week. Mesías up top – big top rope plancha connects. Again, Piero starts to count people out. Countouts do seem to happen to only Mesías around here, but it seemed to take Vampiro as well, and LA Park is not Vampiro. Mesías in first, La Park on the apron at 17. Mesías approaches, gets decked. Bad plan!

Clip? Park sits over Mesías in the ring – break.

Now Mesías is down in the ring, and Park is on the apron. Park takes a minute to rub blood down his chest – pretty – and then heads up. Park has balance issues on his own, and Mesías makes it worse by tripping up. Park takes another crazy tumble, and this is one time where the elevated camera angle might actually make it look better. Park set up on the top rope, and Mesías socks him a couple times. Mesías climbs up, but Park chops him in the side and headbutts him off. Park starts climbing again, stop to blow a kiss, and re-adjsuts his feet on the outside of the ropes. Mesías up and punching him again. Both on the second rope. Mesías on the top rope. Whoever wins this spot should just win the match there, this is a battle. Mesías gets the better of it, top rope superplex, one two NO! Piero very dramatically slow there. Hope they’ve got something better here. Mesías up to his feet and shaking. Mesías out to the apron and posing before heading up. Anytime, man. Park up to his feet, and punching Mesías. Mesías falls all the way to the mat. Park wisely keeps him down there and kicks him in the throats a few times. Park backs all the way up, charges – rolling back press! One two NO. Park hangs Mesías in the ropes, backcracker, one two no. Park off the ropes, Mesías hooks him into a spinning DDT. I think that's what that was, anyway. Might have been Straight To Hell? Mesías rolls Park over to his back, one two no. Park not even bothering to fix his mask, hasn't for a while. Mesías charges him in the corner, Park moves out of the way. Park charges Mesías, Mesías flips him to the apron. Moment of uncertainly and Mesías socks Park. Both guys are really gassed here. Suplex in by Mesías. Both up, Mesías spears Park. Hernandez is concerned. Nice to know he’s here. One two NO. Mesías up first, and staring out into the crowd again. Full speed charge – and spear of Piero. Ooops. Park moved out of the way, and might have moved Piero in the way. Wasn't clear. Park grabs Mesías from behind, turns him around, scoops him up – martinete! I was trying to remember what Park's finisher was here, decided he didn't have one, and then just got proven wrong. Mesías is out. Park is not done. Park puts the Hijo de Cien Caras mask on Mesías, covers him with a sheet, and set up for a figure four (??) but Mesías springs to life and small packages him, Piero springs to life to count, one two NO. Park waves his finger no, he is not going to lose this is one. Mesías needs the ropes to even stand, but he's punching Park away from him. Inside cradle by Mesías one two NO. Mesías catches Park in a crossface, will park give? No, no, fake tap out, , Park turns it, turns it, fake tap out, inch to the ropes, and he’s got them.

Clip? Hernandez slides Park a chair. Mesías taps Park from behind, Park spins around and fouls him, and hammers with a chair six time. I have no idea what Piero is supposed to be looking at it here, but he looks at it and not the chair shots gamely. One two three.

Park's mask won't cover him anymore, so he wears the Hijo de Cien Caras one.

Close to the hour, so quick to the recap package. And they're done.