AAA Recap
Aired: 05/21/05
Recapped: 05/21/05
Match 1: Tiffany (c), Diabolica, Princesa Sugey
vs Lady Apache (c), Fabi Apache, Princesa Blanca
Ciudad Madero, 03/11/05
Winner: no one!
Match Time: 7:47
Other Match Notes: Tiffany trips while posing on the turnbuckle, cracking
her up. We're exactly where we left off with this rudo trio: Diabolica and
Tiffany hate each other, both of them want Lady Apache dead, and Sugey is trying
to keep the peace. LLL Ref and Pepe Casas are your refs. Break.
At least they're cutting it up so the starting whistle is after the break now. Lady Apache quickly bodyscissors herself and Diabolica out, and the Princesas have the first extended sequence. Princesa Blanca had a mask, right? She doesn't have one here. It's no surprise she'd ditch her mask, it's just awful lazy not to have some explanation for it. Maybe I'm just going crazy from watching episodes out of order. Blanca and Sugey have their usual good sequence, and then Sugey repeatedly avoids Lady Apache top rope moves until she gets ducked into a reverse Torture rack. Sugey sneaks out for two, but Fabi breaks it up. Fabi - well, everyone - has a different outfit than usual here. Diabolica and Fabi sequence, with Diabolica doing best until Lady Apache comes into help. Tiffany comes into help her partner, but the Apaches get the better of them. A Triple team goes bad, and Blanca gets in a top rope plancha on Tiffany in the middle of it. Now all six people are in the ring as chaos has broken out in under two and half minutes. Blanca gets knocked to the floor, as Sugey and Dia end up in dueling Tarantula's by the Apaches. Tiffany breaks up Lady Apache's hold, and the LLL ref breaks up Fabi's, much to the displeasure of the crowd. That's our transition to a rudo beatdown. Sugey's boot makes a loud clicking sound when she kicks Fabi in the back of the head, which isn't quite the way the boot's supposed to work, I think. A horrible clip job takes places shortly after - Blanca is whipped into the ropes, and suddenly appears standing on the corner behind where she was whipped. Looks like we skipped the comeback, because Blanca's top rope plancha is ducked by Diabolica, and Tiffany's top rope dropkick on her lands. Lady Apache knocks down Tiffany with a plancha of her own, but a follow up clothesline is caught into a full nelson. Tiffany unwisely holds her for Diabolica to hit - wait, it worked! Diabolica presses her luck by trying it again, this time charging off the ropes - and this time Lady Apache gets free and Tiffany takes it. Dia and Tiffany have an argument as Blanca and Lady Apache set up - boosted dropkick for both of them takes them out. Fabi is back in, charges at both, and flops to the mat? Oh, she's decoying for Blanca's dive, though it wasn't much of a decoy since Blanca just then starts running. Boosted pescado only hits Tiffany, as Diabolica bailed out on her partner. Blanca pulls Tiffany up and holds her for Lady Apache - Tope flattens them both. Fabi wants to dive now, perhaps for real, but Diabolica prevents her with a kick to the back. Diabolica and Sugey celebrate with high tens, a d now it's Sugey's time to dive. Sugey gets absolutely nothing on the boosted dive, flopping over the top rope in the least graceful way possible, actually hitting the apron and only touching the people on the outside on the bounce. Crowd is not kind. Lady Apache checks on her as Tiffany signals to Diabolica to grab Fabi and move on. Whip, reversed, and there is Diabolica's thru the rope tope con giro, which gets a minimum reaction. Fabi gets a "yes, it's the last dive! it has to be great!" pop as she climbs the ropes - corkscrew plancha onto the assembled masses. Crowd approves. Blanca and Tiffany end up back in first, Blanca climbing the ropes and Tiffany punching her there. Bottom Rope Iconoclasm. ontwthree! (5:58) Awful quick three seconds. As Pepe Casas argues that count, Fabi is back in and dropkicking Tiffany out. Sugey replaces her, but gets grabbed - double underhook faceslam! ontwthree (6:15) So it's okay to cheat if the good people do it. Diabolica kicks Fabi right after the count, and clotheslines a few times. Fabi blocks a kick and lands one of her own. Fabi holds Diabolica so Lady Apache can land the missile dropkick, and of course Fabi takes it. Diabolica works over Lady Apache - but Tiffany pulls her off so she can work over Lady Apache. Diabolica asks the crowd what should she do as Tiffany poses. Poses for too long, because Lady Apache gets up fine and dropkicks her in the back. Dia gets Lady Apache herself, but gets yanked out of the ring by Tiffany before she can do anything. And now they're fighting on the outside! And Tiffany's fighting with them. Fabi is being attended to by the doctor for whatever reason, so I think we're going for a really lame CO here. We see the refs counting to to explain it. And there you go. (7:47) Diabolica comes back in the ring to pose, and that's it. Fabi's arm is wrapped now, huh. People keep on fighting, though it doesn't seem to mean much now. The referees and Sugey finally seem to pull the rudos away from Lady Apache, not that it stops Lady Apache. And they're back at it again. Princesa Blanca helps Fabi to the back as everything starts to settle down. Break.
Post break replays here. I didn't stop.
Match 2: Tailandes vs Humberto Alanis in a kickboxing match (three rounds,
two minutes)
Ciudad Madero, 03/11/05
Winner: Tailandes (decision)
Match Time: 6 minutes. Duh.
Other Match Notes: I presume we're supposed to think this is a shoot. El
Hijo del Tirantes is still you ref, but they announce him with his real name
because it's really really. Fans don't seem to react much to either guy. The
announcer does his best Buffer-voice. We even get round graphics.
Sum total of my jokes: both guys kick a lot for wrestlers. I'm guessing they're guys with early experience, because they don't really do much as far as the way as defense unless they get in trouble. I give Round One to the guy the black trunks, which would be great if I remember to write down who had what before the match. You think they might want to note that on the screen; not that I don't know, just who's who. Like it matters Break during the Round One break.
Replays of Round One. Round Two starts. Haha, guy tries to do a spin kick, whiffs, and gets his foot caught in the ropes. It's the guy in back trunks, who's been overpowering the other guy all match long and finally lands a flurry enough to get knockdown. Guy in red trunks takes his time getting up but seems okay. It was an uppercut plus a left cross that got the knockdown, as the replay shows us. They won't stop the fight, because no one's really physically hurt, but Red Trunks' body language shows he doesn't believe there's a chance in a million he'll win now. End of Round Two comes. Break between falls because it's been three minutes.
Replays of the knockdown. Third fall starts. Hard to believe Black Trunks is going to lose unless he gets KOed. Red Trunks goes for high kicks to try for one, and slips and falls in the process, though everyone acts like he's been knocked down. Long bit of punching entertains the crowd, doesn't seem to accomplish much. Both guys are tried and Tirantes seems to warn Black Trunks for bleeding from the nose. He's ahead, but he's really tired. If this was five rounds, Red trunks might have a chance, because he's a lot fresher and knows it, but another big high one kick misses and wipes himself out again. That's also the bell.
Red Trunks is so SURE he won when it's obvious he didn't, it's kinda worrisome. Black Trunks - Tailandes - takes the decision. This was a waste of time. Break.
Interview with Intocable and his cowboy hat. He looks kinda like a skinny dork here, what with his front teeth being the only thing in his mouth we keep seeing. Taking off his vest and feeling himself up at the end of this surely doesn't help things.
Match 3: Mr. Aguila , Hator, Tinieblas Jr. (c) vs
Intocable, Zorro, Hijo de Anibal (c)
Ciudad Madero, 03/11/05
Winner: tecnicos
Match Time: 12:10
Other Match Notes: Aguila has a ladder because he's crazy. He's also
wearing caution tape. Hator enters with him; Tinieblas gets his own entrance,
though they can't get the Aguila music to stop when they want. Tinieblas does
all good guy over acting to be funny. Intocable doesn't make it half way down
the aisle before Aguila wanders over and thus the ladder into his gut. Slam onto
the ladder! Not good for a ladder to bend like that. As Aguila walks back to the
ring with the ladder, Zorro walks right past him the other way. This is a
problem for Hator, who's standing in front of the entrance and waiting for Zorro
to come that way. Zorro waits and waits for him to turn around while Aguila
fails to help his teammate - he's too busy beating up Intocable some more. Hator
turns around, charges, and still ends up getting clocked with the cane. We pan
away from the beating to a big zoom out for whatever reason, until Hijo De Anibal
finally enters. I can't say this match interests me all that much.
Mixed brawl to start off. Hator gets thrown into the announce table, breaking down half the legs - and we only see the after effects. All the other tecnicos besides Intocable are doing bad. Helpful replay (!) shows that Zorro powerbombed Hator onto the table to start the match. Also, a minute and half in, Anibal has completely untied and taken off Tinieblas's mask. Aguila got the tables turn on him, ladder wise, when we were looking at other stuff, but he's still beating up Intocable. Zorro's cane comes back to hurt him, and the rudos turn it around. Let's take up 1/3rd of the screen with upcoming show ads now! At least they fixed the desk. Brawl brawl boring brawl. Intocable turns around the fight in such a dramatic way, I missed it while looking for potato chips. I'm pretty sure it involved a corner charge. I do recover in time for Intocable to do a really stupid looking duck punch, duck punch, jump over kick, dance sequence. There's three more avoidances of Aguila's moves before he actually manages to hit something of his own, and even then the jumping enziguri is low and late, Aguila having to stand like a goon for a beat for it come. Don't get me wrong, standing like a goon is certainly in Aguila's skill set. On and on it goes and everyone else went to their corners at some point. Aguila hurts himself on an armdrag into the ropes, and can't fell good when he gets clotheslined in the crowd. He was worried about his hand before all of that, and still seems to be after. Tinieblas gets whipped into the desk by Anibal, because we need two meaningless desk collisions in this match. Dive trains in back to back matches aren't so interesting, though Aguila getting caught blockbuster suplexed into the crowd by Intocable and Zorro is a bit hilarious. Referees distract themselves for no particular reason - they're even counting falls when they decide to look away! - so Tinieblas and Anibal play a roaring game of "Mask, mask, who's got Tinieblas's mask?" Tinieblas is unhappy to be the winner, because his only prize is an Intocable top rope splash. That'll do. (12:10)
Everyone talks, and there's a break, and then there's a replay, and there's apparently more fighting, and I really could not care any less. How about that though, three matches and no run ins. Now, of course, one was an apparent legit kickboxing match and one contained the entire regular AAA woman's division, but still, pretty good on the sliding AAA scale. Break.
Interview: Chessman shows models his rubber trench coat. No double meaning meant. OH NO HE SWORE. This is old semi-public domain WCW music and I can't remember who's music.
Backstage: Konnan and Cibernetico have someone tied up and they're yelling back and forth and swearing. Why is this in black and white? Why is the camera swaying? Why does the guy appear to have a FdT shirt? That's the tell - of course, it's Nicho. I think we're supposed to think he's nuts, rather than being held against his will, but I dunno. Pan down to see the Psicosis mask, out of his reach. THEY'RE METAPHORS, BOB.
Look, CGI Animation for Rey de Reyes. That's a waste of cash right there and it looks like a rip off of the King Of Ring look. Oh sorry.
Match 4: Abismo Negro & Chessman vs Jeff Jarrett
& Konnan vs Latin Lover & La Parka for
the Rey de Reyes crown
Ciudad Madero, 03/11/05
Winner: La Parka. Don't as me how.
Match Time: 14:56
Other Match Notes: LLL first, they start to announce AAA second then
switch to Jeff Jarrett. Fans fall to go nuts for Jarrett. A young girl jumps the
rail to get a kiss from Latin Lover; she had security chasing her, so I don't
think it was a plant. Only the AAA guys get separate entrances. Jeff Jarrett
wants to say something - so he tells the announcers to tell the crowd. I don't
think it was nice. There's a shot of him pointing to his head in hopes someone,
anyone, will care. He does get a reaction when eh name gets introduced a second
time. Prematch seems to go on and on, so I expect a break, but we get a whistle
instead. BIG CLIP HERE. Look, Jarrett can strut. Listen to the really fake
sounding crowd reactions - they may be authentic, but they sound completely like
a heat machine. Jarrett is confused by La Parka's dancing. More strutting, I'm
done with this. I pay not attention to the action, but when the announcers are
handed an important cell call, boy am I riveted. Watching someone talk on the
phone - can it get better than that? It's rudo beatdown time in the ring.
They're holding the phone to the microphone and it's not working. Maybe because
it's a fake phone call? We're not hearing any of what might be said. Exciting
phone call takes up the middle of the match, the guys are smart enough to stop
bumps when no one's going to watch them. Anyway, I think the conversation was
saying something about Pena and Cibernetico, but I'm not all that concerned.
Beatdown goes on and on. Music interrupts the beatdown - ah, it's Nicho as
Psicosis. Nicho's interference somehow gets the TNA team thrown out, I
think. (9:15) Not that it really impacts the beatdown in anyway. Jarrett
is eventually told to leave. well, with tow on two, it's easier for Latin Lover
to comeback, and they randomlly do. They eventually gets Konnan to yell that
this is the original Psicosis, which doesn't really help the announcers, who
exist in the world where this is and always was one Psicosis. Cibernetico
randomlly makes his way out during the tecnico comeback. There's no particular
reason for him to show up then, but he's slowly walking his way to the ring.
Taking his time, and hiding the spray can. Meanwhile, the match is apparently
happening, but only the LL ref is counting, and he's doing it just how you might
think. Cibernetico passes the can to Abismo, but Abismo accidentally gets
Chessman (if he actually got anyone.) Latin Lover grabs Abismo after a missed
dive, rolls him up in a La Majistral, and pins him for three. (13:50) It
seems like only Abismo is eliminated with that, which makes this possibly not a
tag match, but who can really say. Not that it matters, because the rudos are
back in and trying tp beat them down. Cibernetico eventually gets a low blow,
which is not a DQ despite him not being in the match. We clip away, and come
back to see Cibernetico give La Parka Rock Bottom for - three? For a guy who
didn't start in the match. SO CONFUSED. (14:46) And then the good
referee is superkicks (let's pretend) the bad referee, before raising La Parka's
arm. It's all quite a bit of nonsense. (14:51) I guess that's the one
that stands up? The only neat thing is when all the rudos stomp down La Parka at
the same time, except Jarrett since he missed his cue. There's about eleven
minutes left in this show and nothing going on. Psicosis II is out and
angry at the other one, which isn't good since they're on the same LLL team. In
the tussle, Nicho's mask gets yanked off, and the announcer are shocked that
it's Nicho under the mask. I guess they didn't see the vignette. All the rudos
try to calm the situation, and then they're interrupted by more randomlly
playing music - ah, it's Pena leading the tecnicos to the ring.
Pena Pena Pena. We get a standoff, and the brawl starts just as the referees
show up. Both Psicosis end up on the floor and fighting. Konnan bails on the
whole thing. No one touches Pena. Tecnicos end up taking the ring. Everyone
raises their arms in victory. Latin Lover runs the rudos off with a chair,
except the Psicosis are still fighting, falling over the place, and no one cares
enough to break it up.
There's an interview with La Parka here, because he's winner. Whatever.
The Ingles Sin Barreras commercial with Santo is awesome. "Be a champion! Speak English now!" If I didn't already know English, I'd call right this second!
Replays. I actually watch to see if they explain anything at all. I think the cell phone conversation was someone saying Cibernetico was in the match, and I think the tecnico referee was overruling it with a kick. But I don't really care enough about this to figure out.
That's it, thankfully.