ELL-MEX
Congress Theatre, 04/09/05

(I'm sure this seems weird to everyone else, but I find it pretty tough to write things I actually think about; B-show recaps and dumb posts, I can do using half of my brain, but when I have to do it all myself, it becomes quite a bit tougher. Which is why this is a recap of a show from two weeks ago.)

ELL-MEX, Chicago's (inner) city lucha promotion, returned to the Congress Theatre in Chicago, IL April 9th and I was there. It was okay.

the horribly uninteresting section on how I got there: See, one time I drove, got hilariously lost twice, and couldn't find a semi-legal parking place and it was so annoying, I vowed never to drive again. I actually like trains, so that's not a problem - the problem is there's a 10:30 train back out to 'burbs, and then not another one till 12:40am, and last trip down, I managed to get back to the station at 10:34, and spent 2 hours with nothing to do and only the entertainment of a couple just about to break up to kill the time.

This time, I made sure I was triple covered; brought along the book I was currently slugging thru (the New New Thing <- amazon.com link goes there, Rick!), and a Nintendo DS to kill time. Plus, the show was listed as starting at 6, so I should be able to make the 10:30 in plenty of time. IN THEORY.

Got to Congress just before six, plenty of time to get a ringside seat. I've been told since the attendance was down from the last two shows I missed - one with el Hijo del Santo (the night after a huge snowfall making it impossible for me to get there) and another focusing purely on locals (I think I was at an NCAA Tournament game that time.) Still, it seemed like a larger amount than the last time I was there in the pre-Santo does, especially in the not-cheap seats.

Time passed, and I got out my book, and more time passed, and they messed with the lights, and I put away my book expecting something, and more time passed and I got my book back out, and more time passed. A bit after 6:30, we were treated to the site of the main eventers - name wrestlers from Mexico - carting their luggage and gear down the aisle, around the ring, and to the back. This seemed to be a semi-explanation for what was with the delay; there might have been more over the PA, but not speaking more than twelve words of Spanish, it escaped me.

Opener was Tyme Page versus el Tigre, who might have been el Tigre something but that's all I caught. Page can easily be described as a Hardy clone, though he's toned it down to the long stringy hair and in-ring influence. He's developed a nice rudo personality in it's place, going off on the crowd. Tigre had some nice looking gear, and was throwing stuffed animals out to the crowd. He kept a huge, carnival-sized stuffed tiger for himself.

Match was a lot of Page inciting the crowd through shenanigans in between beating up Tigre, and Tigre rallying back. Actually, it was a lot more entertaining than I just made it sound. An early Tigre run climaxed with a stuffed tiger assisted suicide pescado, but when he later when back to the 'stuffed animal dive' well (who knew Daivari was going to be a trend starter?) with a top rope splash, Page rolled out of the way. While Tigre was recovering on the mat, Page grabbed the tiger and logically simulated the stuffed animal performing a sex act on him. Perverse genius, I tell you.

Conclusion of the match was Page knocking Tigre out of the ring, and flying at him with a tope. The ring shielded me from seeing the landing, but the wood floor of the Congress Theatre made a huge noise when he should've landed. I figured that meant Tyme Page crashed and burned, but he managed to be the only one to crawl in before the twenty count and grab the countout win. Countouts seem to be usually used as cop out finished, but in the context of a dive as a super powerful move, it works as a lucha finish. At least here it did.

After the match, Tyme Page took a moment to insult everyone on his way out. While he was talking, a couple of kids came up to him to look for autographs; the atmosphere at the Congress is like this and there are no barriers between the fans and the wrestlers. Once he was done with his screed, Tyme Page took a look at the autograph book, chucked at the floor, and knocked another one down as he walked to the back. So awesome.

Second match was El Reo and Atomico versus what I was guessing at the time where Mascara de Jade and Fuerza Aerea Junior. Again, working in two language makes it difficult for gringos, but you do what you can. It was definitely the guy in purple and green who works all of these shows; possible-Aerea didn't have camouflage gear I'm used to seeing him in, so I may be wrong there.

El Reo seems to be on every lucha card I go to; passable guy wearing a yellow prisoner outfit (complete with mask and prisoner number including "69), with the yellowness of his outfit making him look just as much as a bumblebee as an escaped convict. None of the others are that interesting to look at, and neither was this match; up to the standards of the second match on a local lucha show, but nothing I haven't seen before and am eager to see again.

This was followed by a one on one match between good guy SWAT Kat and evil clown Payasos Collico. It's too bad Doink ruined it for everyone, because lucha clowns are plentiful and typically a lot of fun, especially the evil variety. SWAT Kat is another guy who's on a lot of card, but a step above in performance El Reo.

This was a Super Lucha match: no DQ, no referee in the ring for the whole of the match - which actually didn't seem to matter much, as they spent a lot of the three falls outside. It was "wear what you for a street fight", so the clown dressed as a clown, and SWAT Kat wore a long sleved black shirt and black pants, which were probably better suited for wherever he was headed after the show, over his usual gear. No jeans in a street fight is very sad.

Also sad was SWAT Kat's mask; Collico ripped open the top of his mask with in the first thirty seconds of the match. That's a typical move for a lucha grudge, and those who are good it at rip it for a big tear, but in a way where the victim can still cover up their face when they're not being beat on. Collico's not at that level of mask ripping yet, and masked SWAT Kat unfortunately spent twelve minutes with his face pretty visible. Oh well, he was probably more worried about the bleeding at the same time.

I believe SWAT Kat won the first fall of the three falls match with a dive causing a countout (two a show is perhaps a bit much), before Collico took the last two to take the match. The more memorable scene was post match, as SWAT Kat was at once recovering on the outside, challenging Collico to a mask vs mask rematch, and besieged by autograph and photoseekers. Even better, while Collico, the somewhat psychotic clown who just beat a man senseless, was answering the challenge (and a bit non committal), two kids rolled into the ring, and patiently waited for him to get done so they could get a photo with him.

Intermission took place here, before the two main events. I got popcorn and enjoyed it way too much for the rest of the show. Nicely salted and buttered in a big lunchbag, made for a good dinner.

Semi-main was probably a semi-ticket seller for some; the typical "Radio Show Host" teams with two good guys to face three evil guys. The evil guys in here were Rudy and Martin Escobedo and the masked Principe Azteca, versus El Dorado, Super Muneico (from Mexico, oddly here) and DJ Recorcholis. Guess which one was the radio dude.

In the previous Super Libre bout, both wrestlers had thrown each other into the ringside seats - ordinary folding chairs, so they were taking out sections and rows in the process. It looked neat to me at the time, but perhaps it was colored by happening on the opposite side of the ring. It was slightly less cool when people were throwing people into the seats near me (and was a moment slow in realizing what was happening; my knee and the chair rammed into it didn't appreciate my distracted brain right then.) I'm kinda of two minds about this: I've pointed out before how these and other lucha shows ask people to pay for the slightly more expensive seats and then play towards the cheap ones, and this was definitely aimed at the ringside people. I'm just not sure this method of inclusion was the best of ideas.

It wasn't helped by being part of a match which felt like it went on forever, or at least five minutes too long. All six men brawled and brawled and brawled and any deeper story than that only existed in spurts and bursts. Radio Show guy got busted open, other people got busted open, nothing seemed to be going towards a greater purpose.

Intermixed with this, there were somehow two guys with microphones, first talking over each other for no clear reason, then going from person to person in the audience, allowing everyone to be incomprehensible and distracting. Even if there was something captivating about this match, it would've been hard to notice in the midst of the mayhem. Apparently the evil side won; I only have faint memories of this happening.

Finally, the fifth match on the show was the main event. With Chicago lucha shows, you've got 3-4 matches of locals and regulars, and a main event of star wrestlers from Mexico who draw most of the fans. This month, it was rudos Emilio Charles Jr., Scorpio Jr., and Villano III (filling in for Bestia Salvaje, the usual partner for the first two) opposing local wrestler Principe Franky, Tinieblas Jr (with mascot Alushe) and Brazo de Plata "Super Porky."

Super Porky's the one you may know; he's the obese but amazingly agile comedy wrestler (and occasional MMA guy) who appears often on CMLL cards. Tinieblas Jr. is tall, and Alushe is his furry Ewok-like mini friend - except this might have just been other people in the suit. By his actions later, the guy in the Alushe suit could've been the guy who used to be in the suit who's now El Monito in CMLL (and had broken up with Tinieblas Jr - it's harsh when a man and his mini fight) and Tinieblas might have been a tall guy they found at the airport for all I know. Villano III is indeed the brother of the two guys you know from WCW, having lost his mask (vs Atlantis, in your 2000 companion to the Eddie/Art Barr vs Santo/Octagon WWC match as 'token awesome lucha match in my wrestling collection to seem wordly'). Emilio, Scorpio and Bestia are now brawlers who work well as comic foils to Porky; post-2001, they adopted a inspired gimmick as Los Taliban, but apparently elected not to bring that particular gimmick to the states this night.

While I wouldn't accuse the stars of mailing in these matches (and am always sorta surprised they don't - they're unlikely to be asked back since part of the draw is 'people you haven't gotten to see!', and their performance in matches 3000 miles away from their main center of work isn't going to reflect on them much), they're also not going to break any new ground in them. What you're getting is pretty similar to a WWE House Show main event; all the spots you know and love, and the same basic match you might have seen on television without a status quo finish. Sooner or later, I figure they've got to work more ongoing things on to keep people going- maybe the SWAT Kat/Payasos Collico feud is start of that - but as long as you're running one show a month and have access to new names, and more importantly, give the fans all the spots they wanted to see, it works.

The system worked well with this match. Super Porky is to entertaining comedy spots what the Rock is to catchphrase promos; they've got many of them, they can work in news ones when old bits start to get tired, everyone sees them coming, and everyone loves seeing them. You could figure usually figure out what Porky was going for next before he got there, but it was still a joy to see. If you know the Super Porky bits, you don't need me to explain them, and if not, you're better off seeing them.

While Alushe got (atypical for the gimmick, typical for the person if I'm right) 'look what the little guy can do!' spots in the match, everyone else didn't get to be in the spotlight quite as much, existing as either cannon fodder for Porky's antics or as being tall. Still, the match was pretty good, with the tecnicos all each beating a rudo for a win, in a quick third fall.

I bolted as soon as the final pinfall was counted, missing out on the post-match autographs and photos. Show wrapped up at 10:10, allowing me to get to Union Station 10:37, missing the train by seven minutes and locking myself into two hours of wait time. Kinda put a damper on the evening, especially since the advertised show time would've gotten me out in plenty of time, but I still enjoyed the show.

Lucha is back in the Congress Theatre for Cinco De Mayo. Semi-famous touring lucha group Lucha Va Voom runs an 18+ show, with a scheduled main event of Blue Demon and Solar I vs Rey Mysterio Sr. and Nicho/WCW's Psicosis in his last (give or take one) match before heading into the WWE full time. Plus, Burleque dancers (read: half dressed women stripping to almost no dress.) The last LLV shows in Chicago were a bunch of fun, and I think this one will be as well.

ELL-Mex itself is back in Congress Theatre that weekend, 05/08, for a show featuring a big match from Mexico: brothers Cien Caras, Mascara Ano 200 and Universo 2000 taking on rivals Pierroth Jr., el Hijo del Pierroth Jr and Perro Aguayo Jr. (Disclaimer: big match does not mean 'beloved by people watching lucha' match. Not at all.) The Aguayos and the Capos (the brothers) are an ongoing death feud in CMLL, Universo having temporarily (almost four years!) ended the career of Perro Aguayo Sr. with a Tombstone Piledriver, before things twisted around to make him the good guy.

Either show is worth your time, if you're in the mood of two hours of interesting Mexican wrestling. I just hope they start on time at some point.